Hi it's me I suffer from anxiety,

I feel ready to kill from all the pills that've been prescribed to me

I have an appointment in August with my Hematologist. She's going to tell us whether I can have my spleen taken out. Or just half of it out. If she makes a mistake and we take out my spleen, I can end up getting blood clots so bad they can lead to an aneurysm and kidney stones. I've never trusted doctors, I've never trusted anyone in the medical field. Without the surgery, I will continue to struggle with the full effect of the anemia. With the surgery, I am at serious risk for catching viruses that could throw me into critical condition. It's funny how nobody asks my opinion of the situation, its my doctor's and my parent's choice. I don't matter. I'm just an experiment.

I'm sorry I couldn't last longer,
maybe in the next life I'll be a heart stronger.

Damn you.

Your empty words will not haunt me. The face that we've learned doesn't belong to you will not remain in my heart. Shame on you for letting my sensibility slip from me. Shame on me for letting you. I sold your soul to a pack of wolves for two pounds of pride and a lifetime supply of regret. I can put my smile back on, but can you live with yourself?

I used to be so obvious with my words;

but at least I was honest

I just fucking love

I love Kat Von D. Haters can suck it, I don't want to hear it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and so the whole world is going blind.

Orange creatures are crawling out of tanning salons, beds breeding more of their clones, bringing back the age old dilemma of marketable skin color. Put a price on insecurity and feed it to the hungry consumer. Make her believe she is flawed and unwanted, she'll spend it all. && when her life is cast aside whilst she clings to your products, she will still look in that mirror and wish she could airbrush the emotion out of her newly crafted body that she wears so well. Pluck her, wax her, apply age elixir and lie, but soon enough she will catch her true reflection in a stranger's eyes and cry out in horror because she is no longer human, she is mannequin.

When color becomes a profit;

I would rather be translucent.

my arts!

I'm very excited, I have just discovered that I have a very rare style of painting? I love it. It's so freeing. The painting to the left is one of my favorites so far. All of them are on my Facebook.

there's a way.

I believe that we have been living in a cold world for such a long time. The flurries we experience every now and then remind us that fantasy ends within the boundaries of our dreams. And when all is said and done, and we are all frozen into perfect statues all similar in translucent wonder, will you see through the thin ice?

Word vommit.

I'd like to think you have a hole in your life that's just about my size;
and if I wait up for you, I'll waste my life for you
and i do.

Painful paws.

So here it is. The plain and simple truth that my family and I have been trying to avoid facing; my dog Runner has cancer, and he is going to die. The vets said today that he really donesn't have much longer. I'm not sure if that's day or weeks. He is in so much pain, and he's coughing up blood. The poor dog can barely walk around the house. It's so hard to see my best friend whom we've had since we moved to this town suffer so much. We're giving him pills to ease the pain, but it's inevitable - we must put him down soon. I love this dog like my own child. I hate this. I hate hate hate this.

a brief synopsis

I just subscribed to one of the best counter culture magazines! It's called Hi-Fructose. So pumped to get that in the mail (:


I've just returned from a 2-day yearbook camp with Boston Yearbook Academy and Herff Jones. This was my second and final year doing the camp, and I believe it was really successful. I learned a few things about my camera, which is really vital to this year's publication. I know, I am such a yerd (yearbook nerd). All that matters is that I enjoy it, right?

I am happy to announce that I came up with this year's theme AND I sort of thought of the cover too. My team at camp this year were really brilliant and I have faith in us! Ahghhh. Next year I am a chief 'editorial bitch' as Ms. Cook said. It's going to be extreme!

Wow. I just had a look at my hair. It needs to be done again soon. Yikes!





I MISS MY BOYFRIEND.